Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Published 9:30 AM by with 0 comment

Am I Black Enough?

I am mixed-up race wise. While, yes I am a member of the human race, as for that identifier of what race I am…. I say Black or African American. Although I don’t really like African American. Because I am mixed, it seems to limit the other DNA that makes up who I am. 
I being mixed-up have always been a kind of throne in my side. It comes out in my hair, which is thin and soft, not a nap to be had anywhere, not a kitchen, none of that. My hair will not Afro, not unless I put a wig on. I have had a love - hate relationship with my hair since I was a kid. Girls pulled my hair in school; I have been told I am not black enough because my hair won’t nap. I had one woman on an email group get upset with me because I had the nerve to ask what a “fairy knot” was. Basically she informed me that I need not ask because my hair is thin and soft and why did I care. Once again I am not black enough. 

But let me back up, and explain, what makes me, well me. My grandparents were all half and half, half black, and half something else from Asian, to European, to Native American. Yes, the 4 of them were all mixed in some way, but Black was always in there. All this comes out in my lighter shade of brownish-reddish skin tone, my extra small nose with no bridge, my almond shaped eyes, my extra soft hair and my utter lack of butt. The black woman’s crowning glory other than her hair, her butt. Sadly I have none at all. 

You can look at me and see I am mixed with something, not quite sure what, but something. But I identify as a black person; a person of color, even with my lack of booty, lol. Yet I have some very radical tendencies. My father was a black panther in the 60’s. Even my grandfather started his own business in the 50’s, and he and his fellow Optometrist started their own association when they were denied entrance in to the "majority" organization, because of the color of his skin. I am more like these two men than they think, and grandpa was half black, half Native American and European, so you know he was extra high yellow (snickers).

So as a child of an ex-panther, sometimes things I watch or hear stir in my soul and says


The movie Amistad was one of them. That movie touched my soul, made me mad, but it touched my soul, I cried from the start of the movie until the end.  It made me mad and ready to exact punishment for those who suffered through middle passage. Of course after I calmed down and realized that Jail is not the place for me, I got some act right before I had to report to work on Monday.  
So scrolling on Facebook this morning I saw this post:

The cast of Lion King, on the NYC subway, breaks into song. The sounds the actors made, touched my soul, I cried the whole 2 minutes.  I was thinking what the hell is wrong with me. While I know not what region or country in Africa that my family hailed from, but they did start out there (well some of them did).  But these sounds and song the actors are singing touched some part of me, way deep down inside, it resonated with my Soul, and it reminded me of what Pastor Wright would say on the 3rd Sunday at Trinity United Church of Christ.  When we did the baby dedication, Pastor Wright would say we did not start in Slavery, we started as Kings and Queens in Africa. So this short youtube clip stirred my soul and said Yes! I am Black Enough!

‘Til Next Time
Love, Peace and All Things Black History!!!!
~The Diva V~


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