Monday, November 24, 2014

Published 9:30 AM by with 0 comment

3 Reasons Why Watching Other People Is Bad For Your Success

I recently traveled to help facilitate a conference for work. This bi-annual meeting of folks with similar title and position was extremely eye-opening to me this year, although I've been attending and working this event since joining the organization. I don't know if it's because my mindset and spirit are in a different place or if it was because I was being taught an important lesson. In either case, the take away for me was pretty simple, but worth repeating.

So many times we get caught up in what other people are doing and comparing them to ourselves. We look at where they are, study how they got there and and compare and contrast our own journeys in an attempt to measure how we are doing. We also, evaluate each other at a particular station and use that as a marker or milestone by which we should be moving or achieving. When we focus on other people, we aren't focusing on ourselves. You cannot measure your miles by somebody else's yardstick! If you do, you will ALWAYS be chasing somebody else's dream and not your will be fulfilling someone else's destiny and not your own.

You CANNOT look at other people and expect to's why:

1. TITLE DOES NOT EQUATE TALENT: It's fascinating to watch 30+ people in a room with essentially the same title and job description, approach a common task. In pretty short order you will notice that some will rise to the occasion and begin to take charge. Others will shrink to the back and begin to watch and observe, saying very little. The vast majority, will attempt to appease and please everyone and be liked. Ironically, by the end of the day...some of the "stars" that were out of the gate early, will have faded and will be almost mute in a corner, either sulking or struggling and some of the folks who shrunk are now dominating, exercising full authority and control. Just because they have the same basic descriptors, all folks are not created equal. If we only use our naked eye and not our intellect and instinct, we can be easily fooled into believing that some are more in control than they really are.

2. SITUATION AND CIRCUMSTANCES MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE: Of the 20+ states represented at the conference I attended, one in particular had a remarkably successful year. So, naturally, everyone flocked to that states representative seeking advice and insights on how they were successful. While everyone was feverishly taking note of all his tactics and efforts, I just observed. During the break, I had the opportunity to talk with a few of the folks that I had seen taking notes and I asked them what they thought about what they heard. The large majority of them shared that they thought that it was interesting but that they didn't find many applicable tools or tips that they could use because their state needs were unique and different. If you learn nothing else, understand that EVERYBODY is different, and we must run our own race if we are going to win in this race called life.

3. THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REAL WORK IS NOT ALWAYS THE ONE WITH THE TITLE: At some point throughout the week, almost all of the states represented had an opportunity to present their work or talk about their plans. In pretty short order, it became abundantly clear which folks were actually involved in the actual tactical work or who was merely "supervising". By supervising, I don't mean setting the agenda and plan, but merely signing off on someone else's plans ideas and actual work. While they have the senior title, they couldn't speak to the real details and specifics, were vague on the background and could not give more than top level explanations on how they arrived at the bulk of the work . Don't be fooled by title and position. Its the experience and tactical expertise that helps folks get ahead. Title alone can only get you so far, eventually you will be found out.

At the end of the have to follow your own path and complete the steps on your own journey. When you use other folks to measure your success, you limit your own potential and put limits on where you can go. Run your own race. If they are worthy of competition or comparison, you will see them at the finish line.

Peace, Joy and Love,

Michelle H.


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