Thursday, October 2, 2014

Published 9:30 AM by with 0 comment

Letting Go

We have all been through trying times in our lives that test our moral fiber. Whether you have an established stress relief routine or not, sometimes you will find that you still can’t get over the issue at hand. As we’ve seen in the last several months, there have been a myriad of issues that have directly affected certain members of us on a visceral level; war, violence and poverty. The result of living in a world of 24 news cycles.

Many of us reached out to friends and family (social media included) to try to make sense of senseless. Some of us found that we needed to reach out to something bigger. Whether that outlet is organized religion, spirituality, meditation or some type of physical activity, we need to realize that we can easily be mental overwhelmed.

Life is too short and uncertain to worry about things that we can’t control; there are a difference things that you have no control over and actions that you can take to facilitate a change in your life. It has taken me years to follow the advice that is so eloquently stated in Reinhold Niebuhr’s prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

As we pass through our own individual existence, we get caught up in other people’s issues. Sometimes we can't help that; even if it means that we are simply an eager listener. We have had instances where we have become overly involved in other people's issues and have found ourselves going out to slay other people's dragons; attempting to be like St. George but looking more like Don Quixote.

Some people like to bring ours into their dysfunction, but you find out too late that they don’t want to change because like the Elephant that doesn’t realize that it can now brake the chain that was used to tie it up when it was a calf, that person just doesn’t know better. You will soon find yourself being bitter at that person’s enemy whether real or perceived.

The funny thing about most of our alleged enemies and those that we feel have transgressed against us, they either have no idea that that we are upset, or don’t care. We waste precious energy (and tend to want to draw others into our anger) for what? Are we truly willing to change the things that we can? How many of us have complained about employment, relationships and life decisions? As long as you are alive you can do things to mitigate our circumstances and change direction.

I found that when you use the energy that you would normally use to curse the darkness in your life to pursue something positive in your life it gets easier to live. Those who wander around with a cloud of gloom over their heads need to heed the revelation that too much negative energy can be deadly (RIP Robin Williams). We have to take time to take care of our own mental well-being and those of our inner family. Whether that family is biological or comprised of friends it doesn’t matter, just remember these are the people that have your real interests at heart. If there are members of your inner group that give you pause, then you need to let them go.

You have to be able to discern the wisdom to know when you can't change something or someone. It’s a long journey but it starts with one step.

** Dr. Headley White **


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