Friday, September 26, 2014

Published 9:30 AM by with 0 comment

Love Cancer

Love Cancer [How to cope with cancer] | Yes, We Rise

I don’t like death. My family has made fun of death all of my life – thinking it will aid in the ease of their transition. I’m not sure if it will. What bothers me is disease – and how it has no respect of person, age, or anything . . . until we look at the Black Community. It seems, our community is plagued with everything. If it is a virus, we will surely get it. If it is airborne, we will get it. Even if we have health insurance and attend our regularly scheduled appointed times with doctors, we cannot seem to escape poor health. Lately, Cancer has been at my door.

No, it hasn’t found me, per se, but it has ravaged my friends and family and extended family. I have far too many friends who have cancer and bouts of cancer. When I lived in Baltimore, my neighbor, a Bennett Belle, died of breast cancer. Daily she asked me to bring The Boy to her - children bring joy in any situation. I have an Aunt, Grandmother, and several cousins who have died of cancer. My aunt and grandmother were older, their death was easier to understand. The younger, the harder it is to understand or accept. A college friend, a childhood friend – no college FRIENDS and childhood FRIENDS (plural) are dealing with the impact of cancer. It is difficult to watch. As a healthy person, guilt takes over and we know, easily, it could be us.

At this time, we no longer think about IF we will get cancer, it is only a matter of WHEN – and what kind . . . we sit quietly at home pretending to live, but we are waiting; almost anticipating the day a doctor, nurse, or health care professional will confirm our deepest fear. It is not that we are great, but diagnosed with cancer. We could be vegans, non-smokers, runners, who did everything right – and it still plagues us.

It. Hurts.

In that fear, we don’t discuss it with friends. We don’t tell our fear of that.

But as I have watched from a distance, I have seen friends bond over cancer – people who didn’t care for the other in college or high school, suddenly find common ground in cancer and its treatment. My college friend is living with cancer. Her inner circle, a sisterhood formed at Bennett College for Women, created a more intimate tie. They walk annually in Komen for the Cure. Another sister friend wrote a children’s novel that speaks to children living with parents of cancer – and it was launched September 25, 2014, where they met – Bennett. In this time, they have rallied around their sister and loved her. Nothing makes me happier than to see her pictures, see her Facebook updates about lunch, chemo and love. Yes, in this, they have found a profound love for each other. A deeper connection – this connection is beyond the Ya Ya Sisterhood – it is simple, hard, difficult, but a bond and dedication so strong the love devours the cancer. They say in youth, we don’t visit our peers who are sick because we see ourselves. In seeing ourselves, we run from a truth that may soon knock at our door.

These ladies didn’t run.

In their circle, fear is no longer a stronghold – love has appeared and wiped away fear, bridging gaps, filling holes – and hopefully curing cancer. Watching them, I learned what true friendship is; what love looks like on a cloudy day, what they mean to each other. We, women, could only be so lucky to have these women in our inner circle.

Cancer, I no longer fear you. If you come to me, I hope my friends love you out of me.

. . . As free as I wanna Be . . .
Goal D Locs


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