Friday, August 29, 2014

Published 10:30 AM by with 0 comment

Crux of the Matter

Crux of the matter | Yes, We Rise

I’m angry.
Mad.
Like fighting mad . . .
But what’s new?

So many of my boys, black boys, have been killed. Some at the hands of another black man; others at the hands of white men – police officers . . . too many to name. It hurts.

But there’s a curious case of this on – Ferguson feels different, hard, ugly, and vile. I know so many have written about it.

It hurts

I am not sure what I can say that people have not already said . . . so I won’t.

We have a leadership issue in black America. Jessie went to Ferguson. Al went to Ferguson. Jamal went to Ferguson. I get it. At first, I did not like it . . . but I get it. They are the people who are willing to be on the forefront of everything - they sacrifice their lives and their personal privacy to lead their community. We, the community, may not agree or like them. But they show up. Again, we might not like it, but they appear to care (for the camera) – but I believe in certain situations, Al and Jessie both care. Often it is not about the image, but the long sense of being there to help.

But I turned on the TV Tuesday night. I saw something that literally pissed me all the way off. Iyanla was on OWN in the streets of Ferguson mentoring men. Huh?

I love Oprah. I want to be interviewed by her – I want to be on the couch . . . I have fallen in and out of love with Iyanla . . . over the course of years, it is more love than hate. I see her purpose. I understand. I would love to be mentored by her and see her work

I had a friend over, and he was stunned too. We watched in silence. Then he uttered, “There are some things men need to discuss with men. And women leading men is . . .” I sat in silence.

I feel the same way.

Yes, I am a feminist. Yes, I root for women and feel that we are equal and powerful and great. Often I know there are places I do not belong. As a woman, my feminine energy cannot prevail the masculine energy. We work together. In the best of worlds, the feminine and masculine work together. He is strong, leader, protector. She is strength, powerful, yet knowing her ‘place’. No, not kitchen and the bedroom, but understanding that a man can tell a boy child the perspective of specific things because of his discovery. As women, we often forget we are dealt with differently in corporate, social, and every setting. Especially black women. We forget our men are more marginalized than we are.

Crux of the matter | Yes, We Rise
I have seen Oprah and Iyanla discuss things with men and work with men on their ‘stuff’ . . . I know of programs held by pastors and leaders that mentor and directly connect with men on all levels – social, economic, leadership, being fathers, Afro-centric, culture, drug problems . . . they have it covered. So why are Oprah and Iyanla so determined to touch men? They are powerful women. They have changed the face of how women are perceived. They are wonderful in what they do – fix women; empowering women . . . but men?

Where is Jessie? Al? Jamal? If they are true leaders, why aren’t they trying to improve the lives of men? Why aren’t they creating a mentoring circle? Or why aren’t they improving the lives of men in their communities? Baltimore is dying – literally – voting practices are low, black on black crime is high, several women are single mothers and leading their homes, schools are failing children – why not create a niche that provides the means to aid in these social ills? Jessie Chicago is dying. More black men have died in Chicago than in Afghanistan . . . yet the mayor told the press not to ask him anymore questions about that. Schools in low socio-economic neighborhoods have closed – there are few, if any black owned businesses in that part of town, the hopelessness and haplessness prevails so greatly few see a future beyond their today. Why aren’t Jessie, Al, and Jamal pooling their resources to aid in these communities?

I’m not hatin.

I’m not singling these men out, necessarily.

I want men in every community to be more prevalent. Where are they? Why isn’t our community creating leaders and training boys to be men? Why aren’t our men teaching our boys – without regard of being family – how to be? If men began to show up at lunchrooms just to talk to boys, or show up in classrooms just to read, or become Big Brothers, or volunteer at golf/football/basketball programs – and extend that to every facet of their lives? Yes, it takes time. Yes, it stretches the man beyond his potential and no, there is no immediate cash payout. But in the end, the boy-child is better, in the end, our communities are better. In the end our boys become men who give back, who are better readers and leaders, who can think and grow and do more . . . they become protectors and not predators.

If it takes a village, where is ours?





. . . As Free as I Wanna Be . . .
Goal D. Locs

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